Sonia’s Scottish Food Guide Part 3: Drinks and Desserts
Phew, we’ve finally gotten through seafood. Onto the good stuff - drinks and desserts! There’s one thing I’ve noticed about Scottish cakes, cookies and pastries - and that’s that they’re sweet. Like really sweet. In Poland, the biggest compliment you can give to a dessert is ‘nice, not too sweet’. Scotland seems to have gone the exact opposite way - as in, if your toes don’t fall of by the end, you’re doing something wrong. That said, there are still one or two desserts that I would recommend from this diabetes-inducing roster, so we’ll start with them.
Cranachan
God, I love this one. The name comes from Scottish Gaelic and means ‘to churn’, as the dessert is traditionally made using a soft churned cheese from the Highlands and Islands called crowdie. Today, cheese is often replaced with whisky-infused whipped cream (yum!), complete with honey, toasted oats and fresh raspberries (traditionally, the fruit was only a summer addition - so if you’re visiting in the summer, you simply must try this one, as Scottish raspberries are amazing). Basically, it’s all that Scottish soil has to offer, in one cup.
Surprisingly, I haven’t seen many places in Edinburgh that would have it on their menu, but maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough. I have tasted cranachan in Howies (Victoria St) and Scotts Kitchen (Victoria Terrace), but I’m sure if you keep your eyes peeled on the dessert menus, you’ll find it in a lot more locations.
2. Sticky Toffee Pudding
It looks simple enough, but it’s the most decadent thing you’ll ever taste. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever managed to actually finish a portion of this, but I’d still encourage you to try it.
Its origins are debated, with Scots, English, and even Canadians vying for the position of the dessert’s creator - but the truth remains that it is a beloved delicacy in Scotland and found in many a restaurant in its capital. It consists of a moist, usually date-infused sponge cake covered in toffee sauce, and often served with clotted cream or vanilla ice cream. It is an explosion of sweetness, so if you like your desserts on the more balanced side, I’m afraid you’ll have to stick to cranachan.
Ironically, the best sticky toffee pudding I’ve ever had in Edinburgh was at a steak restaurant - Hawksmoor (West Register St), which despite being a British chain is in my top 3 favourite restaurants in Edinburgh EVER. So why not make a day of it - have amazing steak for your main, and chase it with sticky toffee pudding? I’ve also had the dessert at Scott’s Kitchen on Victoria Terrace, and despite literally swimming in toffee, it was still quite good. I will warn you that I’ve had it once when it was terrible - and that was sadly in Bertie’s Proper Fish and Chips on Victoria Street - so if you go there for a fish supper, DO NOT follow it with their sticky toffee. It was just dry and disappointing (I know the joke you’re thinking - STOP IT. Ya nasty). However, Bertie’s is known for another iconic Scottish dessert - drumroll please….
3. Deep Fried Mars Bar
A creation so disturbing that it just had to make its way on here.
“Invented” in the Scottish town of Stonehaven in 1992, it’s exactly what is says on the box - a chocolate Mars bar, deep fried in oil (creating a crispy batter around the bar), and served with a scoop of whipped cream or vanilla ice cream. It is disgusting, and perhaps the most modern-Scottish dessert ever. If you want to know what diabetes on a plate looks like - head to Bertie’s Proper Fish and Chips on Victoria Street. I do have an even crazier alternative for you - Cafe Piccante on Broughton Street, where they will deep-fry anything - not just the Mars bar. And I mean anything - from deep-fried Bounty bars (starting off easy), to deep-fried pizza, even deep-fried haggis. God help us. We listen and we do judge.
4. Irn Bru
Yes, it’s as radioactive as it looks. Launched in Scotland in 1901 with a secret recipe of 32 ingredients that ultimately come to taste like fizzy bubblegum (at least, to me). I’d definitely recommend grabbing a cold can on a warm summer day (if you ever come across one in this country) - but you have to be prepared for an explosion of sweetness. You’ll find it in most grocery shops, cafes and restaurants in the city with no issue. It’s often referred to as ‘Scotland’s other national drink’, the first one being, of course…
5. Whisky
You didn’t think our Scottish Food Guide woukd be complete without it, did you? And yes, it’s whisky spelled with a ‘y’, not ‘whiskey’ - the latter is Irish, and you will be deported if you misspell it. There are entire blog posts, books, hell, whole tours about whisky, and I do not claim to be an expert, nor a huge aficionada - but I do possess the basic knowledge to give you educated recommendations. For whisky shops - Cadenheads and The Scotch Whisky Experience, one at the bottom of the Royal Mile, the other at the top. For pubs and restaurants- Bow Bar on Victoria Street, Devil’s Advocate in Advocate’s Close, Black Cat on Rose Street and Whiski Rooms on Bank Street. For whisky experiences - tours by the Scotch Whisky Experience, or a much smaller, curated Whisky Tasting by EDI Tours (my personal recommendation). You can book the last one here: https://www.editours.uk/edinburgh-scotch-whisky-tasting - and use my name SONIA for a discount. But shhh, don’t tell anyone.
